“It Was Still Quiet.”

I hope to find you in the morning.
Perhaps I’ll wake up and you will have thought of me already.
And it will still be quiet.

“Gawd. Gid. Guad How Do You Spell That?”

I just had a question for you:

How do men proclaim your name when they also proclaim hypocrisy?

I sin.
But I know your name everytime.
I’ll admit it.
I’ll do it again. Just through words. With my mind. With my body.
But I know how to spell your name.
GOD.

God, I would rather find you everday through sin then to lose track of your true nature through sanctity or self riteousness. If I were to judge, I shall say I am the sinner and all others are saved.

Forgive me on wordpress.

“What Am I To Say?”

Please tell me. Please.
I’m asking you for a moment. Just wait. Tell me what am I supposed to say?
I don’t see you anymore.
I don’t. I see faces and bodies and hear voices and words and see eyes and movements.
But wait and tell me why my life is a hesitation? A hestitation to you as a point.
I cannot stay steady in this shaking presence where you rest in my mind.
And anyone else, well what? I do not see you in them. I see your actions. I see your mouth.
Life is pulling together.
The mornings still lack you. I could do with a few hours of you in my arms.

Do you have a day or two? Maybe we could meet and just see if a field and a picnic basket would do. And if it did, then we could call each other a lot and remember that field. And I we found that we missed it so much then, then we could make some sort of arrangement to see oneanother again. Maybe more permanently.
If it didn’t work out like that then at least we would have had a good lunch and a nice break.

We’ll tell everyone we met through words.

“To Have & To Hold.”

I’ve graduated!
From being the cohort of adultry to simply a partner in fornicating.
I now lack one sin.
That’s me, down one.

I will not start off with a “So”, simply I will begin as if it has been in the midst of an already inducted conversation.

It’s a true expression of mine to state that I am waiting for you. I have said it before.

Hang on, I have to use the phone.

“Sorry That It’s Been A Few Days.”

Sorry that it has been a few days.
Things have been kind of busy, things have not been void of you, yet I sat love aside for a few days now.
The weeks have gone by more quickly without you, the nights seem to move faster.
I do want to tell you that I wish you to be any hare body I have been near to.

I am seeking something deep. God. More than anything, yet I keep wondering.
Can you come see me? For an evening maybe?
First you need to let me know how things are. How you have been lately.
That’s it for now. I’m tired.
Just wait a moment though. I know you always expect something more.

I found you in the woods the other day. Near a fallen tree where my heart laid open and waiting to be satisfied. You were there in that tree, its’ roots exposed and tilted, somewhere soft in the cottonwood.
Thank you for thinking of me. And if you have written and wonder of my response; never question truth or timing or wonder of saying too much.

Love past forever.

“I Have.”

An urgency to wrap my arms around someone.

“It Is Over.”

A wish list.
One should always have such a thing full of serious and frivolous items alike.

( ) A completely quiet day spent away from the known world and technology.

( ) Some really great cologne. Lacoste. A&F.
( ) A great long scarf from another country.
( ) A

“Jesus? Gsus.”

Jesus, are you available? I know you are.
I woke with a need and this need had a name; Trust.
Lord give me the faith to Trust in you, to know who you are and to live by that knowledge.

I drifted to sleep for another minute and then woke with another name; Grace.
God I already know of Grace, but continue to give it to me.
Then again I went to sleep.

But this time I woke with just the need for Him, God.
But also for you.
And I spoke out loud as I woke; “Oh God, help me. Jesus I need you. It’s this day and every other day. I seek you, I look. I don’t want to be a seeker, but a finder.”

Then I was on my side at first.
Then on my back with a hand on my heart.

And it was to you next that I spoke, “I also need you. Where are you today? Wherever it is, I hope your day will be as mine; perfect.”

You may wonder of these things this morning, if you read.
But don’t. Just be sure of them. Then find your own heart and know that even if you would not be with me forever, I would at least hold you for a night.

“Love, Are You Listening?”

Did you get a chance to feel me today? It should have been right as I did. It was about 10:00pm thus evening, I was driving and seen the stars and thought how you are in everyone of them and how you must feel the same. And then I got that feeling again, makes you take that breath, that sigh we came into life with.
It makes me close my eyes for a moment, and I clench my teeth at the same time and I feel the coldness that rushes into my head.
I want something. It’s getting late. I’m not lonely. I still want you next to me. I suppose you are, no matter where you are at.
I place my hand to me heart very often, I feel you there and smile or do that clenching eyes closed thing or I make a small noise.
This screen is too bright.
I’m going to sleep.

Come to me though, in my dreams, in this night.
Come to me and be near, you needn’t explain anything.
I understand.
Just promise me some things.
Promise to promise.

Love for eternity.
Hear and Heaven.

“It Seems Like Forever.”

It seems forever now since my last dedication to becoming this man I know I am to be. Still I think it was only yesterday. My vows that I make to myself have become like some prostitute assuring me of her love for an hour.
I do not mean to be temporary, yet it happens.

It is best to not be so careless with others as it would discount any truth to words that I may have. So I rarely make promises and often make known that I am prone to mistakes. To live by my word and to be able to give such a thing.

Most of the time you will get limited help from limited individuals, I myself have been blessed repeatedly with people who either feel obligated or genuinly love me.
But this help, it is more than financial or based on need. The help I speak of is that of a spritual nature, of an encouragement to develop further.

Do not be suprised if you are greeted by only chastisement for possibly not meeting expectations or by rudeness instead of direction. Do not be hurt if every word seems to be that of correction.
Two things may be happening; you may be becoming ultra sensitive to emotions and concerns or those around you may have changed because they do not have the empathy it may possess to truly reach you.
In all it really is going towards one goal; your own. That is what matters.